Surrounded by family

July 4th will never seem the same again. My father-in-law passed away on Independence Day. He died of lung cancer. We believe he knew about it long before he told us. But he was like that. The last thing he wanted was for his children to worry about him. It was his job to support them - it didn't matter if they were two or sixty. He was the father that you went to when you had a problem. It caused him great pain to have to ask for help of any kind and in the last few months of his life he had to ask to often.

He was a decorated WWII veteran. He served in the Pacific campaign. He never talked about it. Once in a while he would mention an old army friend, but never about what he had to do during the war. I always had the impression that he was bothered by things he had done in the name of God and country. He had lots of bad memories and didn't care to rehash them.

What he was proud of and would talk about anytime were his kids and grandkids. Five kids to be exact, 2 boys, 3 girls. Now 10 grandchildren and 11 great grandchildren. All were his pride and joy. Except for his time in the army I don't think Ed got more than 100 miles away from home. Home was where the family was. He never made a lot of money, but the kids all had clothes and food and love. His wife Katy passed away 3 years ago on her oldest daughter's birthday. Ed spared my wife the same kind of joy/sorrow and died the day before her birthday.

Ed had been hanging on for days. His body had basically shut down. He hadn't eaten in days. He hadn't responded to anyone for almost 2 days. The kids had all been there to say their last goodbyes. Then as if he realized everyone was there he awoke. He looked at my wife and said "Can I have a cup of coffee?" For the next two hours it was like talking to the old healthy dad, not the one on the brink of death. It was a kind of last hurrah. He partied with his kids and grandkids, joking and laughing and talking. He ate pudding and ice cream. Then finally at about midnight he went to sleep. It was the last time he talked to anyone when they were sure he knew what was going on. From that point on it was a slow 5 day ride to the end. During that stretch in the hospital and finally the nursing home he got to see all of his kids and all of the grandkids except one. We all believe that is what he wanted. He wanted to see them all one more time.

He was surrounded by family when he died - surrounded by family in death as in life. Ed we will miss you!

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